we are in limbo. it’s very strange - choosing to take a break would be fine, great, a relief even. but having a break foist upon us is disappointing, frustrating and difficult.
our ivf company (and i will call them a company - clinic implies impartial medical help; company highlights the primacy of making a buck out of us) has been unhelpful, to say the least. we asked for a last minute change to the plan - to replace the first stage of a long down regulated cycle with a simple donor intra-uterine insemination. it seemed a pretty straightforward request to us. in response we’ve had lies, evasion, and a counsellor who, while lovely, doesn’t actually seem to know anything about ivf. nobody knows what anyone else does, and the accounts people slap a huge random fee onto every new procedure. the staff are like little animals who have their well-trodden paths through the forest that connect with each other only at designated glens and hollows, and when you ask them to deviate ever so slightly from the routine they freak out and can’t cope. it’s crazy.
but these are the people who will hopefully help us have a baby, so we have to play nice. the power of the medical institution…
in the meantime, there are good things. we have started eating the first corn from the garden - bliss! - and the indian minah devils have been wreaking less havoc since everything has grown up a bit. there are enough veges in the garden that i can almost construct a whole meal out of home-grown produce. my idea of heaven…
