It’s been two and a half days almost exactly since our little fellow was born. And I don’t know if it’s me, or if the world has changed, but this morning I went outside to let out the chooks and everything was rimed with white, the first real frost of the year; the morning was outlined clear and intense and I felt overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. I have felt exhilaration before, but never quite like this. When I came back in I held him for a minute, and he looked into my eyes with his wide dark unfocused gaze and then I looked at bean and my heart is still quivering with the love that flowed between the three of us.
My two favourite people are now sleeping in the lounge - one on the couch (quietly), one on the floor (noisy with grunts and squeals) in a bassinet. We are all so tired - this parenting thing is such a steep learning curve, on so little sleep. Everything feels surreal. Things I have learnt in the last few days include:
- how to change a cloth nappy in under 15 minutes
- that commercial baby clothes don’t fit over cloth nappies
- that high pitched squealing exactly like a guinea pig is just our little fellow’s way of talking to us, not a sign that he is in desperate pain
- that babies can create a dutch oven in the bed to rival any adult
- how to not be in the same room as him, even though it feels like being separated from my daemon
- how even more magnificent and beautiful bean is than I already thought
- that even when you think you have prepared as much as possible, there are some things that cannot be prepared for
- that I have more to learn and be humbled by than I ever imagined
I have also discovered that our little fellow loves to be read and sung to. This morning I sang him fragments of Beatle’s songs, and then I recited my favourite poem, by Yeats.
He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.
What a gorgeous and passionate post! Delayed congratulations to you both on the safe arrival of your first child, and what a lovely little fellow he is too. And yes, the world really has changed forever.
Comment by Louise — July 25, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
delurking to say a big huge congratulations, heaven on a stick!!
Comment by Megan — July 25, 2007 @ 11:33 pm